Calm

I suppose that by now I should know not to expect any amount of calmness to last at home. It's nice for a while, but it never lasts longer than a few days, and even then that's pushing it.

And yet, despite being surrounded by all this negativity, somehow I feel...better, even though that's not entirely the word, than I've felt in a long time. It's very strange.

The funny thing is that I'm currently listening to Guilty by The Rasmus, and it's at the part where he's singing about feeling empty. And while I actually am feeling like that right now, I'm still somehow happy. I don't even know how that works, but for now I won't question it too much.

Oh, and the very chocolate cake is done (or if not yet, then there's very very little left) With the way how my dad's cake lasted weeks, I didn't really see this happening. And now when the weekend comes I'll be baking an identical cake, except with funfetti cake mix and vanilla mousse. Yay. (And I'm not sure whether to be sarcastic there or not...I don't really like the baking, but I love the cake)

Birthday cakes

I've been meaning to come on here, but every time I remembered before now it was after internet wasn't available anymore.

Choooocooolaaaate...Sorry, late February/early March signals two birthdays in my family, and since we have to celebrate it over the weekend so that my dad can join in, we end up doing something to celebrate for 3 or so weeks. Both birthdays are for two of my brothers, and the older brother (birthday was recently) chose a chocolate cake for his birthday. A german chocolate, double layer big-ish rectangle cake (I have no idea what size they are or how to describe them haha...but at least I know how to bake them) with double mousse filling/icing (store-bought icing is too sweet for my mom's tastes, and I can't really blame her) with some dark chocolate shavings on top (grating chocolate? Hard. And messy. It keeps melting, and if you freeze it to make it not melt as easily, it gets hard to do) So it's dark chocolate on dark/milk chocolate on top of german chocolate. Very chocolate-y.

So yeah, I'm not much of a fan of dark chocolate specifically, so the mousse doesn't taste very good to me, but other than that I'm perfectly fine with it. It tastes great, and the slices are huge. I've only had one so far, but I probably could hab another 1 or 2 if I want to (another one definitely, maybe a second, not sure)

And once the big cake is done, I get to make a funfetti cake for my little brother! Oh, I love funfetti cakes, even if I don't like standing for however long I stand when I need to mix the stuff. But since the two little siblings get funfetti cakes for their birthdays, I'm thinking of having maybe a red velvet cake for my birthday. Or strawberry.


In other news, I uploaded another fractal to DeviantArt called Colors of Autumn. It's probably my favorite fractal that I've made so far, and one I keep finding myself staring at when I'm busy rendering fractals and can't really do anything else. Feel free to go look at it and download it for your desktop background.

...And that's all, I suppose.

Minecraft and fractals

Okay, so I was going to do a post on vampires and all, but then I realized that I have to go read some books from one of the series I'm reading that I haven't read yet, because otherwise I won't be accurate and all, so that post is going to have to wait for a while.

I got Minecraft yesterday! Haha, would've posted about it yesterday as well, but I was busy playing with my older brother. Probably a great present for him, even if it's me that got Minecraft. It was definitely worth the wait of a few days and the time taken to earn those points :)

Also, I'm making more fractals. Most of the day my computer is on, rendering fractals while I'm busy watching movies (which doesn't happen often, so it's a sort of treat) playing games (more common, but also a treat) doing chores, reading, or whatever else. I'll slowly be uploading them to my Deviantart account, which you can view at the following link:

http://starlightmint72.deviantart.com/

Actually, I'm not sure why I didn't put Radioactive there. Hm. But anyways, they'll slowly be uploaded there. And most of them look way better than Radioactive did (to me anyways)

So that's about it for actual news from me. I'll try getting up a meaningful post later, but I make no promises because my brother wants me to play with him again later. We're going to make a wolf army :3 I love those wolves.

I picked up a book today

It's been a long time since I've actually picked up a book. I mean a physical book with paper in it here, as opposed to e-books (of which I've read a lot lately) But I picked up a book from my bookshelf that I bought...I dunno, two years or so ago?

The book's name is called Fallen by Lauren Kate. I'd pretty much forgotten about its existence since I last read it more than a year ago, but a few weeks back I saw Passion, which is the third book in the series, in the online catalog for my library. So I placed a reservation for it, and now that I've got it I'm going to have to read Fallen and Torment first (I forgot about them after I reserved the book because it was late at night when I did that) And for some, two weeks to read three books might seem like a lot, but I actually do like this series (or at least what I've read anyways) so hopefully I can get the first two books done in a few days.

Now, I've only managed to read...45 pages of the book since I picked it up a few hours ago. I'd say it's weird for me, being a really fast reader, but I haven't really had much of a chance to sit down and enjoy it. And while I still don't remember parts of the book entirely, it's coming back to me.

So yeah, it's about angels. Not vampires (which was my main topic of interest when I bought this...and what will probably be the topic of my next post...ooh, that is going to be an interesting topic...) not werewolves, not mermaids, but angels. It might be because I'm not really looking for them, but I don't find many supernatural books about angels. Or fairies for that matter, but I find fairy books a lot easier than angels. Actually, I think that when I bought this, I thought that it was a book about vampires...but then, I knew nothing about the book and had never heard of it before then...so yeah.

Anyways, it's about angels. And reincarnation. I would say further on that, but since I'm still busy remembering about the book, there's probably a bigger chance of me being wrong than right. But I enjoyed the book. Even if I did forget completely about it for more than a year.

Can't think of anything else to say here right now, so I guess I'll end it here.

Part of my relationship with my mom, and sisterly randomness

I...don't really feel close to my mom. Or my dad for that matter, but he's not home most of the time so it's sort of understandable. But I feel like I should be close to my mom. I should be able to talk to her about the stuff that really make me uncomfortable even thinking of talking to anyone else about (of which there seems to be quite a bit) But most of the time I can't. I mean, it's not that I feel too uncomfortable asking her, or because I don't get enough courage to ask (somehow I manage this part easily when I actually decide to do it...it's the debating on whether or not I'm actually going to do it that seems to be more effort) but because she always seems to be busy.

But today something happened...I actually got close to my mom. My dad too, but my point here is mostly about my mom. We didn't have a heart-to-heart or anything, but you'd be surprised at how much one small trip away from the rest of my noisy siblings (minus my little sister, since she came along as well) can do.

So yeah, I still need to find some time where she's not busy, and finally get around to talking to her about some other stuff.

Oh, and my older sister seems to have a boyfriend. Maybe, anyways. She was planning on seeing a guy later (no, I don't know his name, nobody except her seems to...since she absolutely has to be so secretive about it) but the plans got cancelled. Because of all the fuss she put up this morning when they were almost cancelled anyways (just one of the usual family drama fight thingys or whatever you want to call it) Everyone thought that she was the one that cancelled it. But it turns out that the guy's dad is dying. And a part of me can't help but wonder if that's just an excuse (I know absolutely nothing about this guy, so there's only really a miniscule part of me that feels sorry for him) Because honestly, my sister...well, I'd say she's a bitch, but I really don't like talking like that. So instead I'll say that she needs a boyfriend with a lot of patience.

So, because of the family drama, (yes, this is probably random and irrelevant to most of the rest of this post) my sister is in charge of making dinner tomorrow...me and her were both in charge of it today (though not for punsihment, despite what my sister thinks) and we were going to go eat out tomorrow, but she wouldn't cancel her plans or give up her cellphone (the plans were cancelled much later) so now we're going to have to sit with her...I'm probably going to stick with a sandwich...she never ties her hair up...

Also random, but the lightbulbs in my room went out! Yesterday I pretty much did stuff in the dark (not as hard as one might think) and would've today as well if my brother hadn't found some temporary replacements until we go to the store and get some proper ones. These are too bright...can't wait to get the other ones.

Still, I'm pretty much content today. I wouldn't say happy, but I'm content. And it feels nice.