Another subject done!

Whee! Done with Bible! Tomorrow I'm tackling English (or Physics or Math depending if I can get some help from someone)

'nother update

Blegh, still busy with schoolwork. Technically I'm not allowed to have internet, but it seems that I can load all sites attached to Google (including Blogger and YouTube) and Wikipedia, so I'm exploiting that for now to write this.

Well, I could've had proper internet over the weekend if I had finished up Bible, but instead I procrastinated on it and played Minecraft instead and terraformed the island I started on (I've gotten pretty far, actually, using only stone tools)

So now I need to finish that up before the week is over (I'll work on that as soon as I'm done here and hopefully get Bible done tonight, otherwise tomorrow hopefully) so I can internet on the weekend. Then I'm stuck with Physics, Math, and English...English is next, since that really just requires me reading Hamlet and doing a few other things and will be the next quickest thing for me to do.

Also, since this seems to be a random, kind of pointless post that has nothing really important in it, I added highlights to my hair! Instead of being this plain dark brown color (with no natural highlights) I've got these lighter brown/blonde streaks a little randomly over my head. It actually looks kinda cool, if not somewhat freaky because I still need to get used to these little blond hairs coming in my eyes when it's loose instead of them being brown and all that.

Sooo...I can't think of anything else to say, so I guess I'll just stop here and continue with schoolwork.

School updates...

You know those schoolwork issues I wrote about however long ago? About me being far behind?

Yeah...internet is being grounded now until I get caught up. The only reason I'm on right now is because I got really motivated to do schoolwork because I am bored playing Solitaire on my computer (I've played nearly 6,000 games on this computer now...) and I did the half a year of schoolwork I needed to do for History/Economics today.

Now if only I could do the rest of my subjects that fast...Bible and English are the next easiest. I'm just not motivated to do either, but otherwise I can do them relatively fast. I still have work dating back from December/January from them, so I hope (but seriously doubt) that I can get at least one of those done by next weekend so I can internet then.

But Physics? And Pre-calculus? Bleh, they're probably going to take me a few weeks at this rate...or maybe I'll get lucky and actually figure out how to do it and get somewhere with it! But still, unless I'm really motivated by the lack of internet, I don't think that I'll have them done soon.

Either way, I'm planning on being done by August (or being within a month of being done) I have no intentions whatsoever of going back to public school to repeat my final year of school. Or just repeating the school year period.

Of course, I'll have to go to college eventually, so I guess I'm not in my final year, but since I have no idea what I actually want to do with my life I don't plan on going there soon. I know that it's going to be somethng to do with art (writing, singing, instrument of some sort, or drawing/digital art) but I have no idea further than that.

Still, it's better than my sister. She can't even tell you what she's good at...I at least can.

Lyrics and translation of Koning Van Harte

So I found this song on YouTube a few weeks ago when I was looking for some music. And since then, it's been stuck in my head, demanding for me to write down the lyrics. After doing some searching on Google, it doesn't look like there's any lyrics for this, let alone the translation, so I'm putting up both the Afrikaans and the English lyrics. Or maybe I just did a lazy job in searching, I don't really know or care.

(By the way, the girl in the video kinda looks like Selena Gomez...I showed this to my sister, and she said that she thought it was her...just a random note)

First up is what the book says in the beginning of the video. Just if you're wondering :)

Die Koning Van Harte
Eendag lank gelede was daar 'n koning wat alleen in 'n kasteel gebly het
Hy was beroemd as die koning  van harte en het oral ver en wyd gesoek vir 'n hart wat by syne sal pas

Translated, it means:
The King of Hearts
One day long ago there was a king that lived alone in a castle
He was renowned as the king of hearts and searched everywhere far and wide looking for a heart that would fit his

The "looking for a heart that would fit his" might be translated to "looking for a heart that would suit his", but I like the way how I translated it, because when I think of the word "pas" with things, I think of the word "fit", kind of like two puzzle pieces fitting together. It could also mean "match". Like, a specific shirt and pants match each other well.

Am I a...fan?

You know, I honestly thought that I'd be completely sick of One Direction by now...It's been almost three months since I've started listening to their music, and I still like them. Yeah there's still a few songs that irritate me to no end (which happens with any artist, so it's not too strange or anything) but for the most part I still enjoy them.

In fact, I seem to be smiling more often. I find myself laughing at nothing in particular when I listen to their music.

...

...

...yeah, if I were able to actively tell the difference between Louis and Liam, I'd say I was a "proper-ish" fan. Something that I've always been sort of interested in, since I've never cared about anything enough to want to consider being a "proper" fan (well, except maybe Kingdom Hearts. That's a sort of different story) but I've always wondered about it.

Oreo cereal

So...me and my little siblings had dirt cups yesterday in place of apple pudding (apples and oranges are the two fruits that I will never eat, unless it's flavored candy, and even then most of the time not)

But I forgot to get regular Oreos. So we had "beach" Oreos with the sherbert flavored Oreos. It was surprisingly good, almost better than the regular ones.

Of course, I was going to make another one for me today, but they ate all the gummy worms...typical. So I started eating on the remaining smashed up Oreos, and my mom told me to put it in a bowl and eat it with a spoon, because it is a sticky mess eating it.

And I did. Not last night when I ate some, but today, earlier. There was almost enough to fill the bowl I use, about the same amount as what I have when I eat cereal that isn't Cream of Wheat.

Then I took it to my mom and older sister to show them how much it was. And my mom joked and asked if I was going to put milk in it and eat it like that.

But it sounded like a good idea, so I put milk in. Oreos and milk (any cookies and milk, really) go well together, and since I can't dip the crumbles in milk, I might as well put some milk in the bowl and enjoy it like that.

It was weird. It looked like cereal, had the same texture as most cereals I've had after I've left it to get all soggy, and tasted pretty close to some of the ones I've had before. But it was cookies and milk. Nowhere near as healthy as cereal (and even a lot of cereals aren't all that healthy for you) but it's similar.

I'd do it again. I will do it again. Just not with the sherbert Oreos, because they taste nauseatingly sweet after two or three cookies for me (some people think that things like Warheads candies are sour...they're not to me. But give me or my mom something sweet like Hershey's chocolate, and we'll start pulling faces very fast)

So yeah, if you have cookies crumbs somewhere, and you're not allergic to milk or lactose intolerant (yes, there is a difference. I should know, because my older siblings are lactose intolerant, while my younger brother is allergic) you should try it. It's pretty fun.

Schoolwork confessions

So, summer is here. Almost here. Whatever you choose. Some schools are already closed, others will soon.

Me? Being homeschooled is strange to me still. I feel like I'm in a permanent summer vacation. I'm not done with my school year yet. I'm actually far behind. Far enough behind that my dad is considering sending me to public school in the fall if I don't get it done by then.

And the thing is, I'm not sure if I can get it all done by then. And I really don't want to go to a public school. I switched to homeschooling to get away from that.

I don't mind school. I really don't. But when it comes to public schools, there's just too much work to do with too little time, and it's the people I mind. And when it comes to homeschooling, I just can't concentrate. Too many people cooped up, making a noise.

That, and I can't get motivated to do anything but play games. Even games are boring after five minutes, to be honest. But I need to do something, and some games I play to keep myself busy, even though I can't really concentrate on it.

I know that I should try talking to my parents about this. I have tried. They just assume it's from all the noise that I can't concentrate, and can't do very well. But I get too scared to tell them that I can't do the work not necessarily because of the noise, but sometimes because I just can't do it.

My schoolwork passes through my thoughts several times through the day, especially late at night. I keep telling myself that I'll do some work every time it does, but I never do anything, or if I do it's maybe a lesson or two. Not much.


But another problem is the schoolwork itself. Take English, for example. Right now I'm stuck with learning stuff about Shakespeare's era of time (and will be reading Hamlet later on) I don't find it interesting. It's plenty confusing, and even though it's easy enough to memorize what I need to know, I can't do it. Same goes for history.

Then there's Bible (this is a Christian-based homeschool program) Much like English and history, I can memorize what I need to know (and use the Bible where I need to memorize verses) but it's slightly harder because they ask questions that require answers I can't really give. They'd be easy to answer, but I can never seem to find the words to put it down as. And also because the schoolwork is trying to encourage me to find some job in the church or something along those lines, and I am not interested in that whatsoever.

Math. I'm doing pre-calculus. This is the subject that I am furthest behind, only barely behind Physics. These two subjects are horrible for me. Whereas the other three only really require memorization, I have to work out problems here.

And that would be fine if I understood anything. The lessons they give are awful. They give one or two pitiful examples without really explaining how they got the answer and expect you to figure it out. So I'm stuck with trying to find something on the internet to help me.

Yes, my mom tells me to ask my older brother for help if I need it (she's no good at math, which is why I can't ask her) And I tell her I will if I need it, but I don't. All he does is direct me to the internet as well. In the end I have to work it out myself anyways.

So maybe school would be helpful for those two subjects. Maybe, depending on the teacher. Some are helpful, others are not.


I have no idea what my point here is. I just feel really bad because my schoolwork is so far behind, and I need to vent out my frustrations of it somewhere, otherwise I'll end up crying about it, and if I do that then my family will bug me and make me feel worse.

I hate being so far behind. I hate the fact that I could've been done with this months ago. I hate that I can't get the motivation to do anything. And I especially hate that I don't know how to fix this.

Maybe it's because nothing ever changes and I'm stuck in a boring daily routine that I can't change. Maybe it's because there's something wrong with me (who knows? My little brother has a learning disability of some sort, and my mom said that a lot of kids don't realize that they have one until high school, so maybe I do too...though I'm leaning towards depression being my main problem) Maybe it's really only because of the noise. I don't really know, but I just can't do the schoolwork.

The worst part? My parents know that I'm months behind in my schoolwork, depending on which subject you're looking at. What they don't know is that I don't expect to get it done with "good" grades (their idea of good grades from me specifically is straight A's, which is something I'm not capable of doing, I don't care what they say) That's another thing that's preventing me from doing work. They think I'm perfect. But I'm not, and I never will be. But everytime I try telling them that, they don't want to listen.