Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse?

Yes, I'm being somewhat serious with the title. You can blame World War Z for inspiring this post.

I'm not a big fan of zombies. They're downright creepy because in a very general sense, zombies are the animated flesh of dead humans that bite living creatures and infect them and in turn increase the zombie population that continue searching for life to infect. And in some cases (not all of them though) they will eat you, or at least parts of you, in the process of infecting you.

And if you don't find that creepy at all, I'm going to say that I find something wrong with you (but don't take it too seriously, because I don't really mean it and I'm sure you'd find something wrong with me as well somewhere along the way. My opinion is just an opinion) Because there are few things more disturbing in my eyes.

But other than the general sense of what they are and do, zombies are kind of repellant to me because they're like animals in the sense of they think based on instinct, not actual thoughts like humans do. In some cases, you get them talking and moaning "Brains" while they try to bite/eat you, but other than that I don't think I know of any other talking zombies. I actually enjoy reading books involving animals as the main characters, but they're also mostly just animals with very human-like thinking processes that I'm not sure that real animals possess. I'm very reliant on my thoughts and don't think I'd too well with instincts alone, so that might be why I don't like them too much in that area.

So yeah, when I think of the word "zombie", I think of what you read above this. In most cases, I forget about the subject really fast and continue my train of thought into something more interesting. But since watching World War Z, it's been slightly stuck in my head (don't even ask how it's possible for something to be only slightly stuck in my head)

See, I was thinking a bit and remembered about a picture I saw on one of those funny picture sites some time ago where there was a poll on Facebook asking whether people wanted world peace or the zombie apocalypse more, and there were more votes on the zombie apocalypse than world peace. Then I remembered about people that I knew of somehow (I can't remember where I saw them, but I'm sure that they exist) who were completely psyched about the idea of a zombie apocalypse, and in turn about chain posts that asked what your weapon would be in the case of a zombie apocalypse, and so on.

And so (finally) my starter question is: Do you wish for the zombie apocalypse?

If you answered no, you can continue reading if you want to, but it isn't necessary.


If you answered yes, my follow-up question would be: Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse?

If you answered no, then I believe you. And if you still wish for the zombie apocalypse and do want some chance of surviving, try reading the rest of my post, and if that doesn't give you an idea of what to do, then I suggest looking on the internet for other suggestions.

If you answered yes, I don't believe you. I don't believe that there are many people ready for such a situation (though some people probably would be...) And there are a few things that I'd want you to do before you can convince me to say that I do believe you.

1. Find yourself in the middle of a huge panic (a panic here meaning with people screaming in fear and running for their lives because of whatever threatening them) and stay calm. If you can't do that, I have no doubt that if the zombies came you'd be just as lucky to survive as the people running with you.  First-and-a-half (bonus): If you can manage to stay calm, take details of the things around you. Notice things that might become important later. It may not be completely necessary, but I believe that it would help.
2. Learn how to defend yourself. With a gun and something that does not require ammo (such as a blade of some sort, as there are many different kinds, or a stick of some kind, which includes a baseball bat or pole of some sort) If you can manage to outrun the zombies and stay calm, you're going to need to find a weapon to defend yourself with.
3. Learn how to survive in the wild. Even if you have all the canned/preserved food in the world, it will expire someday and if you're lucky (or unlucky, depending on how you see it) to survive that long, at some point food will most likely run out. Or if you're alone for whatever reason and forced into the woods or a desert or something, you're definitely going to want to know how to survive.

If you can do those three things, then and only then will I believe that you are somewhat ready for the zombie apocalypse. Otherwise, I don't care how many guns with ammo you have or your skill with them or any other weapon, how well you get along with others, how fast you run, how anything, I won't believe that you're ready for the zombie apocalypse.

And if you do manage to get that done, you still need a strategy that doesn't just involve running away and attacking (which is where the survival course kicks in, I should think) Eventually all food an ammo will run out, and you're going to want to know how to substitute for that when that time comes. There are plenty of those out there on the internet (I just read a few, and some of them are absolutely stupid, some are hilarious, and some are actually pretty well thought out, so go take your pick)

In case you're wondering, I am nowhere near ready for the zombie apocalypse. I never will be. I'm not sure how well I would do in a panic. Even though learning to defend myself is on the list of things I would love to learn someday, I probably won't get around to it. Same goes for surviving in the wild.

Therefore, my strategy would probably end up being convincing my parents to take me to the store if the zombies haven't reached our area yet and stocking up on supplies, coming back and barricading the house and staying there until either the zombies find us (in which case find anything potentially dangerous to a zombie and try without much actual success to get rid of them and probably end up dying in the process) or we have to get out because we ran out of supplies or stay and die because of it. After that, we'd be screwed anyways.

I hope against the zombie apocalypse. I pray that it won't happen. I would never survive, and I honestly don't like the idea of becoming a zombie, whether I'm consciously aware of it or not. And the scariest part is that humans can create diseases, bacteria, or whatever and actually make zombies a terrifying reality. It might not happen in the next year (or it might, but I don't think it will) but at some point zombies could become very real.

Zombies are terrifying. No doubt about it. I don't think I'll ever really like them as much as I like other fantasy/supernatural creatures. But they do interest me at times.

As a final note, I just want to say that I might end up liking zombies a lot more if there was a version where zombies could think like humans do and have a civilized conversation with a living person over coffee or tea. I'd probably laugh my butt off, but I'd definitely like them a lot more. And if this does exist out there, could someone please tell me where?